Dreams for Spirited Clearings

Dr. Margaret (Meg) Hoopes

1/03/10

Dream One:  Eating Crow

 

 (For those not familiar with this term, it means you have offended or done something wrong to another person and that it is time for you to do something to right the wrong and say I am sorry.  It is another way of q-tipping, clearing out the corners.)

 

 Last night I was prompted to go th bed at 7:30 PM, rather strange behavior for me.  I immediately went deeply into a dream state.  I was a male Mexican in an apartment with my wife and two small children.  I was pacing the floor, back and forth, deep in thought.  Suddenly my wife was standing in front of me and said, “before you wear out your shoes or the rug, why don’t you tell me what is wrong?”

 

“I have to buy a couch.”

 

“We don’t need a couch.”

 

“I know.  Someone else does, and I have to eat crow.”

 

“I don’t understand, but why don’t you go do what you have to do.”

 

I hugged her and left.  With a new leather couch loaded in the back of my pickup, I drove down a familiar street, passing apartment buildings until I found the right one.  I looked up at ta second floor windodw where my brother lived in an apartment we shared.  I walked over, rang his door bell and stepped back to the sidewalk looking at his window.  Soon his face appeared and he opened his window.  He said, “this is a surprise.”

 

“I have brought you something and I have come to eat crow.”

 

He stared at me with lifted eyebrows.  “Bring it up.”

 

“Come down.  I need your help.”

 

Very quickly he joined me on the sidewalk.  He saw what was in the pickup and began to laugh.  I know we were reliving the same memory.  I was moving out because I was getting married.  I wanted to take the couch.  He said no, he had paid for it.  I was frazzled by all the newness of marriage facing me with the many details and planning that had to be done.  I saw his refusal as lack of support and understanding.  I lost my temper.  I tipped the couch over and jumped on the supporting boards, breaking them and messing up the springs.  I told him he was welcome to the couch and stormed out.

 

Silently we lifted the couch and took it up to his apartment.  He had no couch so we put it in its rightful place.  I said, “I am so sorry.  Will you forgive me?  Will you sit on the couch with me?”

 

So we sat for a moment looking at each other.  He said, “Yes!”  We burst out laughing, hugging and pummeling each other.  Soon we were resting.  I said, “Brother, get your jacket.  You are coming home with me to meet my family and have dinner with us.”

 

 

End of dream one.  I immediately saw that part of my clearing would be to recognize if I need to eat crow.  I invite you to do the same.

 

Dream Two:  Making Peace

 

In this dream I was a married woman with three children.  We lived in my family home given to me and my husband as a wedding gift.  But my attention was focused on the biggest and most beautiful home in our neighborhood.  It had been cared for but stood empty of family for at least ten years.  As a child, as a teenager and a young woman, I had been best friends with Laurie who lived there.  We easily went back and forth to our homes through the back door.  We had grown apart when,  because of business, Laurie’w father had moved the family to the west coast.  We went to different colleges, but kept in touch.  I was trying to remember what happened to cause us to stop connecting.  I remember we were angry with each other, it had something to do with a lovely brooch.

 

Now Laurie was back in her family home grieving for her husband who was killed in some freak accident.  They had no children.  It was time to make peace and be her friend again.  But how?

 

I looked up to see my three children watching me from the doorway.  As soon as I had their attention they rushed to me.  “Mommy is sad.” 

 

“What is wrong?”  Billy, my three year old, climbed into my lap and began patting my face.  Amy, my seven year old said, “Tell us what is wrong.  You always tel us it is good to talk and share what is bothering us.”

 

There I was, confronted by love and my own advice.  “I need to make peace with someone.”

 

“How do you make peace?”

 

“Can we go with you and learn how you make peace?”

 

“Yes.  Yes.  We want to go with you and learn.”

 

I looked at their shining excited faces.  “Okay.  I think you will make excellent peace ambassadors.  Go clean up to look you very best.”  It seemed the right thing to do, but I had no plan.  The children came back clean, wearing their good clothes and shining faces.  They tugged at me.  Amy said, “Let’s go make peace, whatever that is.”  Tommy, my five year old said, “Hurry.  I want to be a peace ambassy.”  I laughed and led them out of the house, through our back door to Laurie’s back door.  As we went I told them about my friendship with Laurie.

 

I knocked on her back door and waited, surrounded by my ‘peace ambassys’.  Laurie opened the back door, swollen face and eyes, hair uncombed, and looked startled to see me.  With her hand on the doorjam, she blocked our way in.

 

“Well, it has been a long time since you did anything for me.”

 

“I know, but I did return the brooch.  I am here to make peace with you, without the slightest idea of how I will do that.  I have buried memories and have not wanted to look.  All I know for sure is that it is time to make peace.”

 

She stepped back and invited us in with a hand gesture.  She sat down and I sat opposite her, just looking at each other and remembering many good times in this room.  The children were standing near the door watching us.  “Come here children and introduce your selves to Laurie.  “I am Billy and I am three.  Mommy says I am a lap dog.  I like laps.  Can I sit in yours ?”  Laurie couldn’t resist him and settled him in her lap.  Tommy stepped up next.  “I am Tommy and I am five.  Mommy says I can be a peace ambassy.  I don’t know what that is.  I want to know that and how to make peace.  She said you were sad because of loss.  I am good at finding things.  Can I help you?”  Laurie looked at  his intent little face.  “I lost my husband when he was in a bad accident. He is lost to me, but he is safely in heaven.  But I miss him.”  Tommy patted her hand and said, “I guess we can’t go there.”  Amy spoke next.  “I am Amy and I am seven.  When we came to Mommy this morning she looked very sad.  We wanted to know why and she told us she needed to make peace with an old friend and was thinking about how to do that.  We all said we wanted to learn how to make peace.  It sounded important to me.  On our way over here Mommy told us about the many times she had walked the path we were on to visit her best friend.  So I thought you were the one to make peace with.  Do you know how to make peace?  I think I know what it is, but don’t know how to make it.”  Laurie said, “I don’t think I know either.  Let’s learn how together.  However, I think we already have.”  We rose together, hugged, laughed and danced around the room.  The children joined us.  As we shared treats prepared by Laurie, the children were full of questions and comments.  Laurie wanted to know what peace ambassadors were and the children had answers.

End of Dream Two.  I challenge you to examine your lives and determine if  you need to make peace with someone in your life including those who have left their mortal bodies.